Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
