he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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