Sponge bath it is.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
