how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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