I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
