We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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