But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
