so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
