never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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