porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
