yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
