Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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