Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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