I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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