Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
