His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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