You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
