i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
