the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
