I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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