Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
