how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
