good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
