let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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