Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
