i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
