i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
