they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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