Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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