I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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