New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
