Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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