Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
