I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
