I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
