How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
