clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
