is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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