My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
