I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
