a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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