i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
