oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
