i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize