I'm really into asian looking animals
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
