why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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