I'm jealous of your bromance
i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
