Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
as a side note pls kill me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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