He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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