maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
God, I missed his penis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
