can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
