It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
