can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
