I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
