I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
