I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Welp...herpes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize