Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
