Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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