And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
