Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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