Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
